Posts tagged ‘Surrogacy’

Indian Apex court debating on “Order of nature” in homosexuality

The 2nd day of hearing came to an end with the judges GS Sanghvi and SJ Mukhopadhay, (who are hearing 16 petitions brought against the Delhi High Court ruling which struck down the colonial law that criminalized homosexuality) discussing the “order of nature” in Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code.

While discussing they brought up the sculptures in Khajuraho temple which depicts all sorts of sexual acts from same sex to, heterosex to beastiality. They judges wanted to bring to notice, before the British made the IPC in 1860, homosexuality was not fowned upon in Indian society. Both judges indicated, that homosexuality should be viewed in ralation to the changing scociety.

“Many things, which were earlier unacceptable, have become acceptable with passage of time,” the bench told senior counsel Amarendra Sharan, who is representing the Delhi Commission for Protection of Child Rights.

To the above statement, Mr. Sharan replied that social issues cannot be decided on the basis on sculptures.

The judges bench answered to the objection in a very rational way. “It is a reflection of society of that time and homosexuality should not be seen only in terms of sexual intercourse,” was their counter argument.

The question that was raised by the bench on wednesday ,” Who is the expert to define the term order of nature?” was answered by them the next day with the following staement ,” These things should be seen in the light of changing times where phenomena of live-in relationship, single parents and artificial fertilisation have become normal.”

They further elaborated with “Take the recent phenomena of live-in relationship, single parents and surrogacy. There is a case where a man is unmarried but wants to be a father and engage a surrogate mother. Thirty-forty years ago it was against the order of nature but now artificial fertilisation is a thriving business.”

A very sound argument… and rational. A scotiety which essentially had no qualms about homosexuality before the British Rule cannot argue about its societal damage it might have by decriminalizing homosexuality. When the same British governmant in their own country has legalized homosexuality and accepts civil unions.

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And now they are 3

This blog is not about LGBT issues. Its related to the community ofcourse, but it’s essentially my thoughts on having kids in general.

Ok, So Sir Elton John and his partner David Furnish had a beautiful boy Zac.  He is the cutest baby ever.

When I heard the news, I tweeted that “there is no reason to put a child through this.”   I had a little bit of difference of opinion with a friend with that tweet. If you have not guessed it yet, I was not overtly pleased about the entire thing.

Let me make something clear at the onset. I am not against surrogates or adoption of kids by LGBT people. I would want to do the same too.

Now, at the age of 63, having a new born baby. to me, is doing injustice to the kid. When a kid grows up, he/she needs their parents to be there for them. Kids dream about parents doting over them, be with them through their childhood, adolescence, and part of their adulthood.

My father died when he was 71. I was 34. Even after spending so many years with him, when he passed away, I wanted it to last a bit longer. I still thought I didn’t have enough time with him. There were things I still wanted to do for him and now I can’t. Its a void which is inevitable, but still when you have it, it sucks you right in.

If similar thing happens in this family, the kid would be just 8. I still can’t reconcile with the fact, how hard would it be for an 8 years old? One can argue, lots of parents die leaving their new borns or young children behind. Yes they do. But that generally is never a choice. Its fate, destiny: ofcourse, not taking into account those who commit suicide. In this case, its Sir Elton John and his partner’s choice to raise a family. Which is very noble but selfish at the same time.

Why at 63? Why do generally gays wait so long to do anything when it comes to family. Why most gays wait till they are in their 40s when they decide that its time to settle down? When we say, we are no different from our straight counter part, why is it that straights or generally mentally prepared to get in a relationship and get married while in their late 20s and early 30s and we can’t.

Or is it” There are too many men and too less time” syndrome? We wait till we realise that we are not that desirable any more. Not too many heads turn when we walk into a room. That’s a signal that its time to settle down. 

Why can’t we follow the same protocol. Grow up, finish education, find a guy, get married and settle down. This is where kids come in. By the time we are in our 30s, we can adopt or have surrogate kids and live a normal life. But waiting till we are almost 50 to be ready for a committed relationship and then waiting for that right person to come along…if we are lucky he might or he might not. And then at 60 a kid? To me that’s selfish.

My friend asked me if my opinion would be any different if it was an adopted kid. Yes, my opinion would have been different. In the case of adoption, the childs luck, destiny plays a huge role. If Sir Elton John had adopted a child, it would have been a between either him or maybe me ( an ordinary man ). What he can provide for the child, I would never be able to provide in my entire lifetime. So the child he would have chosen would have been a lucky one.

 As for example http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/tech/social-media/Facebook-hate-campaign-against-Elton-Johns-baby-pad-/articleshow/7211005.cms

I don’t see anything wrong in having a 1.3 million dollar flat for their son.  That’s exactly what I am talking about. A kid has to be really lucky to be adopted by such high-profile people. Live a lavish life. Why is it so bad, as long as the kid grows up to be a down to earth person?

 But when it comes to a surrogate child, the child would have got this either way, now or 15 years earlier.

But in spite of my disapproval, I would like to wish the family ALL THE BEST and really hope Sir Elton John and his partner are around the kid for a long long time.

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