Posts tagged ‘Gay’

A candid interview of a gay Indian “happily” married to a woman

A different culture, a different social set-up, but similar social expectations… and a gay man caught in this web and making the best he could and in his own words…”HAPPY”. A logical, practical man, who found the perfect balance, at least for the time being.

A little background of the guy…

He got married due to social and parental obligations. Has a wonderful wife and a son. Making a lot of money by working in an MNC. Three of them are happily living as a unit. As far as I could gather, he is very happy and so is everyone around him.

He has an urge to be with a man every couple of months that he needs to fulfill.

Q1. Are you happy?

A. Happiness is a very subjective term. In Indian context we feel happy when we make someone happy. My mom, wife, son and relatives are happy. This makes me happy.

Q2. Why did you get married knowing you are gay?

A.  In India either you have to be extremely strong to remain single or emotionally unattached. I was neither. My mom was alone after my father and needed company. My small sacrifice balanced the equation.

Q3. Ain’t you cheating your wife?

A. If you consider my body I am cheating, but if you consider my soul, its hers. For a few years after marriage I felt incomplete and felt like I was cheating myself, cause I never used to go out. Now whenever I feel the urge I get hold of a guy like you and satisfy my physical needs.

Q4. How long will this continue?

A. Till I want my marriage to last. My physical satisfaction has lead to my completeness in my married life. At least I am not sharing my bed with another woman who can be a threat to my wife and son.

Q5. How did you train your mind…being a total bottom?

A. It was simple. I simply made my mind like my wife. I started feeling for her and the liking started.

Q6. Don’t you feel, by going out you are putting yourself and your wife in grave danger?

A. No, I am very careful in choosing people and I make sure I use protection. It is much better than the straight guys who go to other women every fortnight.

Q7. If your wife comes to know?

A. That’s a risk associated with every man who goes out.

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Mumbai Court gives green light for sex reassignment surgery

Bombay High Court gave permission to 21 years old Bidhan Barua to go through sex reassignment surgery.

Mr. Barua always felt he was a woman trapped in a man’s body. Loved wearing female clothes when he was young and as a result got reprimanded, beaten up by his family. In grade 8, he learnt about sex reassignment surgery and how much it will cost. He started doing odd jobs after school to save money for the surgery.

The incidence that solidified his resolve to go through it, is the psychiatric test that he took in Guwahati to access whether he was fit to go through the surgery and he passed.  After that he ran away from home and came to Mumbai and started living with his cousin.

He was initially supposed to get the surgery on the 17th of April but found his bank account blocked by his parents who even threatened the doctors if they went ahead with it. He had left his job in preparation for the surgery and now his bank account being blocked he was almost broke. He informed the judge that due to this he has no money to pay for a lawyer. The judge told him that if needed, the court will appoint an amicus curie to help him out.

In his petition, Bidhan ( who likes to go by the female name Swati) informed the Chief Justice of India, Chief Justice of Bombay High Court and National Human Rights Commission urging them to step in and give a ruling in his favour or he will commit suicide. Further in his letters he wrote, “For the last two weeks, I am running from door to door seeking justice but the court does not have time to hear me. I do not have any money for my food, lodging. So I am finally requesting the court to pass an immediate order against my family or grant me an order for an authorised suicide.”

“I will kill myself if I do not get an order for my surgery by this evening. For my suicide, the Chief Justice of the Bombay High Court will be responsible”, and he signed it.

This decision comes soon after the court last Thursday warned Bidhan from using pressure tactics and threatening to commit suicide to push his case swiftly through the court system.

An LGBT and HIV/AIDS activist…turned gay because of gang-rape

28 years old Sanjeev Vandse is an LGBT activist from the small town of Udipi, Karnataka, India. He fights of the rights of gays and male sex workers. He has tied up with NGOs to help these people who otherwise have been neglected by most as homosexuality is still a taboo and not discussed or a subject barely touched by the mass specially in small towns.

Sanjeev himself is HIV positive. He was gang-raped by his bosses when he came to mumbai to work for a hotel, Sanjeev claims. He further claims that incident changed his sexual orientation.

For the past 3 years he has become an sexual health advisor, mentor, almost a messiah to LGBT people in his town and around. The concern is, his belief that rape changed his sexual orientation is scientifically wrong and probably he is still trying to justify his sexuality with that excuse of being a victim. It looks like he needs councelling himself. He needs to accept who he is and not feel ashamed of it and find the need to have an excuse to justify his being gay.

If rape could change sexual orientation, then all the african lesbians who are forced to have sex with men (corrective rape) with the believe that it would turn them straight would work too. But it doesn’t. His claim could backfire. In those small towns, where most are uneducated, illiterate, such a claim would do more harm than good.

We have already seen in one family in States, father forced his 14 year old son to have sex with a hooker while he stood vigilant outside the door because he thought his son might be gay.

Sanjeev’s work to make the lives of LGBT people in his community easy,  is commendable to say the least but he needs to be councelled before its too late.

The scale tips towards Gays getting infected with HIV more than female sexworkers in India

For the longest time in India, HIV was a decease predominant among the female sex workers in India. For decades now, they have carried the stigma and faced the brunt.

Finally, latest study shows new HIV infection are more among gay men and drug users than among females. Hindustantimes issued a new article which gives the latest comparitive figures from 2000 and 2009.

There were 120,000 new HIV infection cases out of which 7.3% were gays and drug users while female sex workers were 4.94%. This data was collected in 2009. In sharp contrast to the data collected in 2000 where out of 270,000 new infection registration 11% were female sex-workers and gays accounted for only 4.3%.

According to Sayan Chatterjee, secretery in the department of AIDS control in the health ministry, the concern now is the estimated 250,000 gay men who fall in the high-risk catagory of infection. The states which were previously saw less prevelance of HIV are now the most vulnerable. States like Orissa, Bihar, Madhya Pradesh, West Bangal, UP, Rajasthan and Gujrat have more HIV positive men.

The new 5 year plan (2012-2017) would essentially focus more on this states and the LGBT population.

If you had doubts before…you’ll be jealous now that your kid didn’t turn out like he did

Zack Walsh, 19 yr old, an engineering student from IOWA University speaks about his family, his two mothers and Same-sex marriage.

I bet a lot of straight couples will eat their hearts out, that their kids didn’t turn out the way he did.

Via Youtube

RAINBOW stickers in business windows… what message do they send?

Everytime I see a rainbow sticker on a business window, I ask myself  ‘why do they have it? What message are they sending out to LGBT  and the straight community?’

The obvious answer is, that particular business is letting people know that it is LGBT friendly. Which is a relief and all LGBT people can go there and shop, eat, drink or enjoy whatever service the business is offering. Pretty straight forward.

Then it struck me, so are we not supposed to do business with those who do not sport an evident sign of being gay friendly? Or if we do, do we have to be in constant fear that they might refuse service to us?

Yes it can happen and it has happened. But most of the time than not, the services asked for, were very LGBT specific like, same-sex wedding related, adoption, bed and breakfast reservation etc. In most of these cases where service has been denied were on the basis of the proprietor’s religious beliefs.

I go to this particular super-market to do my grocery and I see this rainbow sticker stuck on the glass door and pretty noticeable as soon as you walk in. What if they didn’t have it? Can I assume they are not gay friendly? And by saying not gay friendly,  does it mean if they find out I am gay, or if I come with my partner, holding hands walking down the aisles with our trolley,  the authorities will come and ask us to leave? I don’t think so. But if they do, we need to fight that.

Why do we find the need to restrict ourselves to these businesses? In the gay village, do we have posters or stickers saying we are straight friendly? Funnily enough we don’t but that doesn’t stop tons of straights coming to Church Street restaurants and eating, holding hands with their girl friends and even kissing. They don’t feel threatened coming into our ‘territory’ but we do and for good reason. Funniest is when I see rainbow stickers on shops in Church Street. I mean really? You have opened a business in the gay village, can you be anything else but gay friendly?

Seeing a rainbow sticker makes me feel like a handicap. Its same as businesses advertising they are wheel-chair accessible. But being gay is not a handicap, is it? We should be able to go wherever we want without thinking twice.

Before I moved to Toronto, I have never shopped or eaten anywhere which displayed rainbows. And I never even thought it was necessary. It never crossed my mind that I might not be welcomed there. But now after seeing these in so many windows, when I come across one which doesn’t have it, I stop and think before entering. That’s not right. I don’t need special treatment. Imagine every physically handicapped going to shops own by other handicap people because they feel, they would understand each other, they are one of them, coming from the same community of challenged people.

If they ever start feeling that way, it would be sad indeed. It would mean we failed each other as humans. Why would this be any different? Why the need of a gay village? Why huddle up and feel safe within the confines of familiar boundaries? A gay couple might be thrown out of a bar or pub outside the village for kissing, hugging or doing whatever the authorities perceive as inappropriate behaviour. This mainly happens because very few venture outside the gaybourhood. Imagine the hundreds of gays who go drinking every evening in Church Street, for 1 whole month went drinking all over downtown. Would it not have the same effect of Pride Parade, which is to bring awareness to the straight community? How many couples would these businesses throw out. Remember, I am not saying that gays go and be promiscuous, and vulgar and make people around them all embarrassed. Could the incidence of the lesbian couple in Tim Horton‘s be avoided by spreading our wings beyond the gay village and not once but 365 days in a year?

Its worth a shot. We just might come across the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Texas gay man: Stabbed, beaten and thrown onto a fire

Although I am sick and tired of reporting these hate crimes, I am compelled to do so as this happened in a small town Paris in Reno, Texas. And I am afraid that this heinous crime might get downplayed by the authorities in the very redneck part of United States. If even 5 people read this, thats 5 more people who would know what happened.

Burke Burnett, a 26  year old gay man was stabbed with broken beer-bottles, beaten up and then thrown onto a burning barrel. He was at a straight friends house party. The attackers yelled anti-gay slurs while assaulting him like  “pussy-ass faggot,” “gay bitch” and “cock-sucking punk”.

Mr. Burnett’s girl-friends managed to break-up the fight (if you can call 4 men beating up 1 man a fight) and took him to a hospital while the other party goers just stood there and watched and did not come to help.

Although Mr. Burnett knows all of his attackers and one of them personally, no arrests have been made after one week. Although the investigating officer told Mr. Burnett that this would be classified under hate-crime, there are rumours that the police is planning to downgrade the crime to a misdemeanor as it happened in a party.

For full details and more pics you can check the Dallasvoice.com

As a footnote, Texas is the land of Gov. Rick Perry who is famous for being a homophobe and scarily enough is running for president.

The district attorney‘s number for Lamar County, in Reno, Texas is 1-903-737-2458. Please call and demand a thorough investigation.

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