Posts tagged ‘Gay Lesbian and Bisexual’

A candid interview of a gay Indian “happily” married to a woman

A different culture, a different social set-up, but similar social expectations… and a gay man caught in this web and making the best he could and in his own words…”HAPPY”. A logical, practical man, who found the perfect balance, at least for the time being.

A little background of the guy…

He got married due to social and parental obligations. Has a wonderful wife and a son. Making a lot of money by working in an MNC. Three of them are happily living as a unit. As far as I could gather, he is very happy and so is everyone around him.

He has an urge to be with a man every couple of months that he needs to fulfill.

Q1. Are you happy?

A. Happiness is a very subjective term. In Indian context we feel happy when we make someone happy. My mom, wife, son and relatives are happy. This makes me happy.

Q2. Why did you get married knowing you are gay?

A.  In India either you have to be extremely strong to remain single or emotionally unattached. I was neither. My mom was alone after my father and needed company. My small sacrifice balanced the equation.

Q3. Ain’t you cheating your wife?

A. If you consider my body I am cheating, but if you consider my soul, its hers. For a few years after marriage I felt incomplete and felt like I was cheating myself, cause I never used to go out. Now whenever I feel the urge I get hold of a guy like you and satisfy my physical needs.

Q4. How long will this continue?

A. Till I want my marriage to last. My physical satisfaction has lead to my completeness in my married life. At least I am not sharing my bed with another woman who can be a threat to my wife and son.

Q5. How did you train your mind…being a total bottom?

A. It was simple. I simply made my mind like my wife. I started feeling for her and the liking started.

Q6. Don’t you feel, by going out you are putting yourself and your wife in grave danger?

A. No, I am very careful in choosing people and I make sure I use protection. It is much better than the straight guys who go to other women every fortnight.

Q7. If your wife comes to know?

A. That’s a risk associated with every man who goes out.

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Absolutely priceless…got to see it

For a change…a little bit of gay humour. Enjoy…

Maryland: 14 yr old wants NO on same-sex marriage as her birthday present

While the Maryland Senate Judiciary Committee heard testimony today from the advocates and opponates of same-sex marriage, one testimony of a 14 year old girl stands out. Sarah Crank testified opposing same-sex marriage. Her testimony:

“I really feel bad for the kids who have two parents of the same gender.”

“They have no idea what kind of wonderful experiences they miss out on.”

“People have the choice to be gay, but I don’t want to be affected by their choice. People say they were just born that way, but I’ve met really nice adults who did change.”

She added, “….would be the best birthday present ever if you would vote no on gay marriage.”

“It’s rather scary to think that when I grow up the legislature or the court can change the definition of any word they want,”

“If they could change the definition of marriage then they could change the definition of any word.”

It important to mention that Sarah is home schooled. So obviously what she said is the direct reflection of what kind of parents she has. No points for guessing they are Bible thumping bigots and they are doing a stupendous job of raising a bigoted bitch.

Wonder what kind of people she hangs out with where there are so many “reformed” LGBT people she has already met at such an early age? She has been brainwashed no doubt… I can’t wait for her to start college.

RAINBOW stickers in business windows… what message do they send?

Everytime I see a rainbow sticker on a business window, I ask myself  ‘why do they have it? What message are they sending out to LGBT  and the straight community?’

The obvious answer is, that particular business is letting people know that it is LGBT friendly. Which is a relief and all LGBT people can go there and shop, eat, drink or enjoy whatever service the business is offering. Pretty straight forward.

Then it struck me, so are we not supposed to do business with those who do not sport an evident sign of being gay friendly? Or if we do, do we have to be in constant fear that they might refuse service to us?

Yes it can happen and it has happened. But most of the time than not, the services asked for, were very LGBT specific like, same-sex wedding related, adoption, bed and breakfast reservation etc. In most of these cases where service has been denied were on the basis of the proprietor’s religious beliefs.

I go to this particular super-market to do my grocery and I see this rainbow sticker stuck on the glass door and pretty noticeable as soon as you walk in. What if they didn’t have it? Can I assume they are not gay friendly? And by saying not gay friendly,  does it mean if they find out I am gay, or if I come with my partner, holding hands walking down the aisles with our trolley,  the authorities will come and ask us to leave? I don’t think so. But if they do, we need to fight that.

Why do we find the need to restrict ourselves to these businesses? In the gay village, do we have posters or stickers saying we are straight friendly? Funnily enough we don’t but that doesn’t stop tons of straights coming to Church Street restaurants and eating, holding hands with their girl friends and even kissing. They don’t feel threatened coming into our ‘territory’ but we do and for good reason. Funniest is when I see rainbow stickers on shops in Church Street. I mean really? You have opened a business in the gay village, can you be anything else but gay friendly?

Seeing a rainbow sticker makes me feel like a handicap. Its same as businesses advertising they are wheel-chair accessible. But being gay is not a handicap, is it? We should be able to go wherever we want without thinking twice.

Before I moved to Toronto, I have never shopped or eaten anywhere which displayed rainbows. And I never even thought it was necessary. It never crossed my mind that I might not be welcomed there. But now after seeing these in so many windows, when I come across one which doesn’t have it, I stop and think before entering. That’s not right. I don’t need special treatment. Imagine every physically handicapped going to shops own by other handicap people because they feel, they would understand each other, they are one of them, coming from the same community of challenged people.

If they ever start feeling that way, it would be sad indeed. It would mean we failed each other as humans. Why would this be any different? Why the need of a gay village? Why huddle up and feel safe within the confines of familiar boundaries? A gay couple might be thrown out of a bar or pub outside the village for kissing, hugging or doing whatever the authorities perceive as inappropriate behaviour. This mainly happens because very few venture outside the gaybourhood. Imagine the hundreds of gays who go drinking every evening in Church Street, for 1 whole month went drinking all over downtown. Would it not have the same effect of Pride Parade, which is to bring awareness to the straight community? How many couples would these businesses throw out. Remember, I am not saying that gays go and be promiscuous, and vulgar and make people around them all embarrassed. Could the incidence of the lesbian couple in Tim Horton‘s be avoided by spreading our wings beyond the gay village and not once but 365 days in a year?

Its worth a shot. We just might come across the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

CNN smokes out a witch Linda Harvey before Halloween

CNN called out Linda Harvey of Mission America for her statements in her radio talk show where she asks parents not to allow LGBT medical service professionals to treat their kids. Why? Because being in such close quarters with them might turn their kids gay.

http://equalitymatters.org/emtv/201110260009

If being in close contact with gays turns kids gay, I wonder how being surrounded all my life by heterosexuals, never having a single gay friend ever in my life, I turned out gay?

Below is the full monologue of her that CNN was referring to.

Why Atheists and Gays go hand in hand in the western world?

After I moved to Canada, I was really surprised at how many gays I met who claimed to be non-believer. It almost felt like being an atheist is a prerequisite to be gay.

The hundreds of gays I met back in India, hardly any if at all, were non-believers. Although I grew up among two non-believers in my family. My Dad’s brother and his wife. Their general attitude or reasoning behind being atheists were that, they were too learned and scientifically inclined to believe in God. Which was perfectly fine. Every human being has the right to choose what they want and don’t want to believe.

But here it is different. I generally get a very vague reasoning or nothing at all. “I don’t believe in God.” It starts and ends in that one sentence. That’s when it got me thinking, whether it has something to do with how the religion is taught.

Could the constant preaching in the church about homosexuality being an abomination, and how every gay man or woman would burn in hell, have anything to do with this?

In our religion, I have never been told or heard any discussion relating to sex or sexual behavior of humans. This could be because Indians think sex in general is taboo (gay or straight) and not something to be discussed in public. The priests and saints who we meet in our day to day life do not discuss sex. So we had no idea as kids that sex and religion were connected.  To us they were two totally different entities.  Till ofcourse, when homosexuality was decriminalized in 2009 and made headlines, that’s when religious honchos (muslims, christians and hindus) sat at the same side of the table and started their anti-gay campaign. Never before have they been united this way. We made it possible, (pun intended).

Another reason could be, how it is preached. There is a marked difference between how we learn whats right and whats wrong in our childhood through religion and how the west does, in my opinion.

The negative or the positive approach, which would have the same result in the end, anyway. Let me elaborate:

I can say: If you steal, you will burn in hell.

OR

I can say: If you never give in to temptation and stay honest, God will reward you.

As a child if I hear the first, I would feel, God is someone to be afraid of. HE is strict, and punishes you the harshest way possible for your mistakes. On the other hand, if I hear the 2nd version, I would see God as someone who rewards you for your good deeds, appreciates you and someone who is full of love and compassion. At the sametime it is understood that if I am not honest, I will not be rewarded. The way I see it, I would rather do something to get rewarded than not do something in fear of being punished. Although both would acquire the same result.

Lastly, in hindu mythology, there are so many references of gender queerness, that even someone who hasn’t read religious books in depth, knows, homosexuality, did not spring up out of the blue in the last century but has been there since the existence of the human race. A few that I can think of right now:

1) Shiva’s another avataar Ardha Narishwar (ardha= half, narishwar= woman and man)

 ” To Create the Universe, Lord Shiva separated his power (Shakti) from himself. Shiva represents the Masculine power, while Shakti the feminine. Since both masculine (Shiva) and feminine (Shakti) are part of him, shiva is known as Ardh-Nar-Nari-shwar (God who is half male and half female).” (SHIVALAYA: author VIVEK)

2) Shikhandi:  Born with female genital organs, Shikhandi was raised a son, taught warfare and statecraft. He was even given a wife. On his wedding night, the wife, was horrified to discover that her husband was actually a woman. and left him. A distraught Shikhandi went to the forest, holding himself responsible for the crisis, intent on killing himself. There he met a giant  who took pity on him and gave him his manhood for one night. With the giant’s manhood, Shikhandi made love to a concubine sent by his father-in-law and proved he was no woman. The wife was therefore forced to return. Now, it so happened, the king of the giants, was furious with what had happened and so cursed the giant that he would not get his manhood back so long as Shikhandi lived. As a result what was supposed to be with him for one night remained with him till death. So Shikhandi, born with a female body, acquired a giant’s manhood.

3) Vichitravirya: Another character in Mahabharata which means (queer masculinity).

4) Bhangashvana: A powerful king who was cursed by God to be a woman. As a man he had a wife and children and as a woman he had a husband and bore him children. Hence he was a man to his wife and a woman to his husband.

There are hoards of other references which I can tabulate, but this should do for now. This clearly indicates, although India as the rest of the world had a very pro-hetero patriarchal society, it did not condemn or sweep under the floor boards the existence of non-heterosexual, alternate sexuality.

Even with so many evidences, if Indians find it so difficult to accept homosexuality, I can imagine a religion which apparently explicitly says “Man should not sleep with mankind, as womankind”,  would be hard pressed to accept gays.

So maybe, growing up learning about these mythological characters, we sub-consciously know that we are not freak of nature. There were gays before us and there would be gays after us and finding the references in religious books, we don’t grow up being anti-God. When we struggle as youths to accept our alternate sexuality, we find solace in these characters. Something I guess, the west don’t have the luxury of doing.

133 arrested in a police raid of a gay party in India

Police raided a gay party in India and arrested 133 people along with some famous faces, one being Bobby Darling (transgender actress).

Years back I had heard of a similar raid of a White Party in Bombay and there were quite a few high profile people present in that party as well and their financial power managed to hush the whole episode up but not before a few pics were published in the papers. This raid happened almost 10 years back.

Since then, this is the 2nd major police raid of a gay party and the 1st of its kind after homosexuality was decriminalized 2 years back.

You can read a detailed report here.

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