Posts tagged ‘Family’

Ellen lashes out at One Million Moms

One Million Moms were not pleased that JC Penny chose Ellen as their spokes person. Their reason… Ellen is gay and that is against traditional family values and JC Penny was wrong to make such a choice as the majority of shoppers there are Christians and people from traditional families. As a result of this, they will all stop shopping in JC Penny and the store will lose a lot of its customers.

When JC Penny did not back down, they posted a message on their facebook page which said:

“By jumping on the pro-gay bandwagon , JC Penny is attempting to gain a new target market and in the process will lose customers with traditional values that have been faithful to them over all these years. The majority at JC Penny shoppers will be offended and choose to no longer shop there.”

And now here is Ellen’s answer to One Million Moms on her own show. Incidentally One Million Moms have 40,000 likes on their facebook page and Ellen has 9 million twitter followers. Just a background on One Million Moms… it’s under the umbrella of AFA (American Family Association) … yah I know…right?

American Family and Same-Sex-Marriage

Wondering why I have a blog post with a pic of the Famous 5 and what it has got to do with the LGBT community? Here is why…

I grew up with these books. Their first book, Five on a Treasure Island where the three kids Julian, Dick and Ann were introduced to their cousin George or Georgina, not only the three kids but even their father had never met George before. I was surprised when the father was confused by the name and said he was quite sure his brother Prof. Quintin had a daughter and not a son.

I could not believe how someone not meet their own brother’s child in 11 years, let alone not even being sure whether its a boy or a girl. I remember asking my Mom about this and she explained, that’s how it happens in the Western world. There, family means only parents and their kids, most of the times anyway. And even then, by the time the kids are 17 or 18 years old, they leave home and live on their own. I just could not believe it. I grew up with my brothers and sisters and all my cousins from my father’s and mother’s side. And I am not an exception. That’s our culture.

And this novel was written in 1942. It was a time when divorce was very very less and living together, civil unions, single moms and single dads, were still not so common even in the west.

While growing up, divorce was a very western thing for us. Never came across a divorced couple till I was in my mid 20s and that would be in the early 2000.

So the family they are trying to protect by not letting Gays and Lesbians marry, they have singlehandedly destroyed long time back in the name of progression and still doing it. Kids out of wed-lock, teen mom, divorce, live-together, civil unions are all anti conventional family. So what are they afraid of losing more?

What they want to say is, a single mom, a divorced parent, teenage mom are way better than having two loving Dads or two loving Moms. After all the divorces and remarriages, kids already have two dads and two moms, only just not together. Torn between two sets of parents, dividing time between them, THAT is not what a kids childhood should comprise of.

The exaggerated pro-family and anti-gay message in the above video by Right Wing Watch is a laugh to say the least. The book in question is ” A Queer Thing Happened In America” by Michael Brown.

Yes, I agree, every child should have two parents but they don’t have to be a Mom and a Dad. Two Moms and Two Dads are equally good if not better. As long as they are in a loving relationship and can provide love, stability, comfort and protection to the kids, that’s all that is needed.

THAT is a family.

The destruction that our straight counterparts have done over the years, now we are trying to restore it, rebuild it. And they have a problem with that because……???????

And now they are 3

This blog is not about LGBT issues. Its related to the community ofcourse, but it’s essentially my thoughts on having kids in general.

Ok, So Sir Elton John and his partner David Furnish had a beautiful boy Zac.  He is the cutest baby ever.

When I heard the news, I tweeted that “there is no reason to put a child through this.”   I had a little bit of difference of opinion with a friend with that tweet. If you have not guessed it yet, I was not overtly pleased about the entire thing.

Let me make something clear at the onset. I am not against surrogates or adoption of kids by LGBT people. I would want to do the same too.

Now, at the age of 63, having a new born baby. to me, is doing injustice to the kid. When a kid grows up, he/she needs their parents to be there for them. Kids dream about parents doting over them, be with them through their childhood, adolescence, and part of their adulthood.

My father died when he was 71. I was 34. Even after spending so many years with him, when he passed away, I wanted it to last a bit longer. I still thought I didn’t have enough time with him. There were things I still wanted to do for him and now I can’t. Its a void which is inevitable, but still when you have it, it sucks you right in.

If similar thing happens in this family, the kid would be just 8. I still can’t reconcile with the fact, how hard would it be for an 8 years old? One can argue, lots of parents die leaving their new borns or young children behind. Yes they do. But that generally is never a choice. Its fate, destiny: ofcourse, not taking into account those who commit suicide. In this case, its Sir Elton John and his partner’s choice to raise a family. Which is very noble but selfish at the same time.

Why at 63? Why do generally gays wait so long to do anything when it comes to family. Why most gays wait till they are in their 40s when they decide that its time to settle down? When we say, we are no different from our straight counter part, why is it that straights or generally mentally prepared to get in a relationship and get married while in their late 20s and early 30s and we can’t.

Or is it” There are too many men and too less time” syndrome? We wait till we realise that we are not that desirable any more. Not too many heads turn when we walk into a room. That’s a signal that its time to settle down. 

Why can’t we follow the same protocol. Grow up, finish education, find a guy, get married and settle down. This is where kids come in. By the time we are in our 30s, we can adopt or have surrogate kids and live a normal life. But waiting till we are almost 50 to be ready for a committed relationship and then waiting for that right person to come along…if we are lucky he might or he might not. And then at 60 a kid? To me that’s selfish.

My friend asked me if my opinion would be any different if it was an adopted kid. Yes, my opinion would have been different. In the case of adoption, the childs luck, destiny plays a huge role. If Sir Elton John had adopted a child, it would have been a between either him or maybe me ( an ordinary man ). What he can provide for the child, I would never be able to provide in my entire lifetime. So the child he would have chosen would have been a lucky one.

 As for example http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/tech/social-media/Facebook-hate-campaign-against-Elton-Johns-baby-pad-/articleshow/7211005.cms

I don’t see anything wrong in having a 1.3 million dollar flat for their son.  That’s exactly what I am talking about. A kid has to be really lucky to be adopted by such high-profile people. Live a lavish life. Why is it so bad, as long as the kid grows up to be a down to earth person?

 But when it comes to a surrogate child, the child would have got this either way, now or 15 years earlier.

But in spite of my disapproval, I would like to wish the family ALL THE BEST and really hope Sir Elton John and his partner are around the kid for a long long time.

Nay to Gay in India…

So all hell broke lose, the earth fell off its axis when India saw its 2nd commercial gay film released..  Dunno Y…Na Jaane Kyon.

No one is mentioning My Brother Nikhil any more. Why? Is it because the gay story line was very subtle? If people chose to not recognize it as a gay film, they can fool themselves by saying, “Its just friendship.” As there were no kisses or a sex scene in the film. That’s so naive. Or should I say hypocritical.

And Yuvraaj Parasher has been disowned by his family.

Way to go. I came out to my sister 3 weeks back. I was ready to come out to my entire family but my sister asked me not to. Which is fine. But when I decided to come out, I had reached a point where, if my family had disowned me, I wouldn’t have cared. My sister didn’t. She said, it doesn’t matter to her. I am still her little brother. And don’t get me wrong, I love my family to death.

But when a gay man comes out to his family, he has already evaluated the aftermath and has reconciled with that fact. So disowning him, would not make much of a difference. He is not going to turn straight. Disowning is used like a punishment. A punishment that really has no effect on the person as he already has braised himself for that, knew it was coming and already has tuned his mind to move on. In reality…HE shuns them and just carries on.

What these families don’t understand, that we move on. Its them who loses. You shun us, there is a whole world out there who would accept us. At one point, the constant pain would reduce to an occasional pinch and then to nothing. But its the family who would be frozen in time.

And in this case, as Yuvraaj is in movies, they would be reminded of him everytime his face is splashed on the tabloid. The irony is, he is not even gay. Atleast we don’t know …. yet.

So it Yuvraaj… hang in there kiddo. There is a bigger family out there who has open their arms wide to take you in. Whether you are gay or not doesn’t matter to us.

For we don’t judge.

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