Congratulations to all the couples who have and are getting married today in New York.  Today, with same-sex marriage being a reality, it ushers an era of equality in one of the most populated cities in America.

But in the face of this huge victory, I am thankful that I don’t live in NY. Contrary to the arguments of the Same-sex marriage proponents, and the modified laws that actually paved the way to the legalization of same-sex-marriage today,I am unsatisfied.

For me, wedding is not about a piece of paper, or government recognition. These came way later. Just one generation back, in my parents time, one didn’t need to register their marriage.

There is a reason why in every culture when someone gets married, there is the custom of inviting so many people on the wedding day. In older times, an entire village would be invited to the wedding. Although the celebration of a joyous occasion with friends and family is one of the reason, the main reason why this custom exists is to have witnesses of the wedding. They are the living proof of the ceremony. Today the proof is a piece of paper.

Honestly I don’t care. I don’t care if the government recognizes my love for my partner or not. I don’t care if I can share my mortgage of my house with my partner or not. Every child fantasizes about their wedding. Men and women in different ways but its a big day for both the sexes.  I have fantasized about my wedding too since I was a kid. Maybe not a same-sex wedding, but nonetheless.

Today walking into a registrars office and signing a piece of paper was never my dream wedding ever. For me, it would be my dream wedding when I can walk down the isle, stand in front of God and say I DO. Because my commitment to my partner is not political, or financial, its spiritual and holy. People present in my wedding would add to the joyous occasion but I want God to be the witness of my vows.

So when they legalized same-sex marriage in New York by modifying the law and exempting all religious organization, I wasn’t thrilled. Because I don’t want to get married to reap all the benefits while filing my taxes, and buying houses and in medicare.That is a bonus. And yes that’s  important too. But for me, if it was not legal to get married, I would be happy to get one pastor who would agree to marry a same-sex couple and if not in a church, maybe in my backyard with my friends and family.

But I live in Canada, so if I ever want, I can realize my childhood dream of getting married in a church, walk down the isle and stand on the pulpit and say I do. And when the minister says ” I bind you in HOLY matrimony”,  it would really be holy and I will seal my vow with a kiss.

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Comments on: "Big day in NY and why it isn’t enough for me" (3)

  1. […] Big day in NY and why it isn’t enough for me (sparklincyanide.wordpress.com) […]

  2. The good news is that the two are not totally distinct. Already, the possibility of civil marriage in NY is placing pressure on the churches to provide the counterpart in church. The Swedish Lutherans did so immediately their government introduced same sex marriage legislation in 2009, last year the Icelandic Lutherans followed suit. In New York, some Episcopal bishops have already authorized same sex church weddings, and some Methodist clergy have undertaken to hold gay weddings where requested, even though this is still forbidden by church regulations.

    Same sex marriage is spreading steadily across the world – and just a short way behind, the same applies to gay church weddings.

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