The rebellious side of a gay man

And now they are 3

This blog is not about LGBT issues. Its related to the community ofcourse, but it’s essentially my thoughts on having kids in general.

Ok, So Sir Elton John and his partner David Furnish had a beautiful boy Zac.  He is the cutest baby ever.

When I heard the news, I tweeted that “there is no reason to put a child through this.”   I had a little bit of difference of opinion with a friend with that tweet. If you have not guessed it yet, I was not overtly pleased about the entire thing.

Let me make something clear at the onset. I am not against surrogates or adoption of kids by LGBT people. I would want to do the same too.

Now, at the age of 63, having a new born baby. to me, is doing injustice to the kid. When a kid grows up, he/she needs their parents to be there for them. Kids dream about parents doting over them, be with them through their childhood, adolescence, and part of their adulthood.

My father died when he was 71. I was 34. Even after spending so many years with him, when he passed away, I wanted it to last a bit longer. I still thought I didn’t have enough time with him. There were things I still wanted to do for him and now I can’t. Its a void which is inevitable, but still when you have it, it sucks you right in.

If similar thing happens in this family, the kid would be just 8. I still can’t reconcile with the fact, how hard would it be for an 8 years old? One can argue, lots of parents die leaving their new borns or young children behind. Yes they do. But that generally is never a choice. Its fate, destiny: ofcourse, not taking into account those who commit suicide. In this case, its Sir Elton John and his partner’s choice to raise a family. Which is very noble but selfish at the same time.

Why at 63? Why do generally gays wait so long to do anything when it comes to family. Why most gays wait till they are in their 40s when they decide that its time to settle down? When we say, we are no different from our straight counter part, why is it that straights or generally mentally prepared to get in a relationship and get married while in their late 20s and early 30s and we can’t.

Or is it” There are too many men and too less time” syndrome? We wait till we realise that we are not that desirable any more. Not too many heads turn when we walk into a room. That’s a signal that its time to settle down. 

Why can’t we follow the same protocol. Grow up, finish education, find a guy, get married and settle down. This is where kids come in. By the time we are in our 30s, we can adopt or have surrogate kids and live a normal life. But waiting till we are almost 50 to be ready for a committed relationship and then waiting for that right person to come along…if we are lucky he might or he might not. And then at 60 a kid? To me that’s selfish.

My friend asked me if my opinion would be any different if it was an adopted kid. Yes, my opinion would have been different. In the case of adoption, the childs luck, destiny plays a huge role. If Sir Elton John had adopted a child, it would have been a between either him or maybe me ( an ordinary man ). What he can provide for the child, I would never be able to provide in my entire lifetime. So the child he would have chosen would have been a lucky one.

 As for example http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/tech/social-media/Facebook-hate-campaign-against-Elton-Johns-baby-pad-/articleshow/7211005.cms

I don’t see anything wrong in having a 1.3 million dollar flat for their son.  That’s exactly what I am talking about. A kid has to be really lucky to be adopted by such high-profile people. Live a lavish life. Why is it so bad, as long as the kid grows up to be a down to earth person?

 But when it comes to a surrogate child, the child would have got this either way, now or 15 years earlier.

But in spite of my disapproval, I would like to wish the family ALL THE BEST and really hope Sir Elton John and his partner are around the kid for a long long time.

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